The Trees We Lost to Glenda

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A crazy storm hit the Philippines last Wednesday morning. Unlike recent storms, rain was not the leading lady, and flooding not the looming horror. In its place, the strong winds that took the title role, shaking fear into the metro.

Everyone in Metro Manila felt the storm, some more than others. It woke most of us from our sleep with whistling and howling. The power was out. Everything swayed and shook in the wind. From the window, I watched our trees in our yard dance and swing, still graceful in the violence of the wind.

It seems everyone has lost a tree they know, or part of one at least. Either a tree in their front yard, one they know in their neighborhood, one on their path to work, or one from the house they grew up in. Some trees lost branches, or suffered irreparable fractures and splits at their trunk, or experienced complete uprooting from the ground. In addition to the lost trees – people have lost their roofs, ceilings, walls, windows, paint, gates, and fences. The busy cities also felt the disruption of black outs – for days straight, or in rotating breaks as managed by the local power provider. There are areas where power has not yet been restored.

Still, this storm had winds only half as strong as the super typhoon Haiyan/Yolanda experienced by the Visayan regions in November last year.

Over the past months, I’ve spent much time reflecting of falling and fallen trees. I remember riding around the different Yolanda-affected Visayan regions of Cebu, Roxas and Leyte; surveying the change in the lanscape, peppered with fallen trees. There is sadness and wonder.

Now, my own surroundings in the city and home have altered. Everything storm-blown as well.

 

Speak soon,

T

 

The photo above is a fallen tree at the center of a town in Laguna. Below is three-quarters of the beloved mango tree in our front yard. 

 

tree glenda

 

 

That the little ones might brave the storm

In the midst of the howling and rattling of the crazy storm, I am even more grateful for the beautiful weather God prepared for the children just a few days ago. This morning, the wind is reckless, whipping everything in sight. One of our trees in the yard has buckled down.

On Saturday past, we held our 8th annual Children’s Fair with long time partners and friends at the Precious Jewels Ministry. Another 100 little ones were invited, welcomed by an amazing team of over 30 volunteers and community workers.

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No child went home empty handed. Each one brought home a gift box with food, school supplies and a hygiene kit. The sealed plastic boxes were purchased with rainy times like these in mind, when it’s difficult to keep anything dry where they are. (And to also keep rodents from their precious things.)

More importantly, we shared food to fill their precious souls and spirits. Stories, conversations, lessons and love to take home. May they carry that light in them as they brave this powerful storm today. Jesus, be with them.

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Speak soon,
T
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Truth Thursdays: Today I Leave Behind

Today I leave behind light.

Not because I will walk ahead without it, but because in my own journey forward, my path has been made bright by the lights that others have left behind. These gifts of illumination have made my own path full of joy, encouragement, challenge, inspiration and purpose.

So I too leave behind a glowing trail. Though shifting in its luminescence and never perfect in direction, I leave it nonetheless. There are moments of blazing fire and others of just barely glowing coal. This trail may light the path of many or none at all. Or for a heartbeat, bring company to a single lone traveler.

There is enough darkness in this world. Real, tangible, destructive darkness. It weeps only wretchedness. It is ferocious and deceitful. It eats away at the good stuff in this world.

But it quivers in the light.

And in the presence of light, the darkness is a coward.

And still,

there are those who can walk in the company of darkness,

unafraid and unhesitating because light also lives within. 

Today I leave behind light, not because there is no more light to lead forward, nor because I set my lantern down to walk into the dim. It is Light itself that I follow. Radiance that is not of me.

The embers that persist in my wake may one day lead someone Home.

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No light for miles around. Just friends and a bonfire on a beach. San Francisco coast. March 2013.

More about Truth Thursdays? Or more about this prompt.

Bagel Versus English Muffin

I found English muffins today! I chanced upon them while dragging my feet in obedience to my mom’s craving for more munchies.

We were walking by a little bakery station, after having just just checked out of the grocery with a bag of yummy cookies which I thought would suffice. I was making fun of what I thought was her unnecessary craving for more food. (HA, look who’s talking, Tanya-of-four-stomachs!)  But out of the ever-hungry corner of my eye, I spied a familiar and missed sight, that of a soft, thick disc, pale and edible. They were stacked up in a simple little tower wrapped up in shiny plastic bag. “MOM THEY HAVE ENGLISH MUFFINS!” I exclaimed.

And I was sold. I began to rumble to her about toasted English muffins for breakfast, topped with butter and blueberry jelly…

So I ended up with more food, including a fairly large (pricey but absolutely worth it) chocolate chip cookie, with the edges baked to a crisp but oh so chewy brown. Ah! Beautiful! At first my mom disagreed with its cost, but after a single bite, she was converted. I foresee her buying a fair share of these for her own happy consumption in the months to follow. 

Now there was a time that I was obsessed with bagels for breakfast. Actually, bagels in general. I was just as delighted to find bagels in Manila, as I was to find English muffins today. Then I moved on, and fell in love with English muffins. There must have been a handful of reasons why I gave up on bagels, though I had ridiculously shunned English muffins for the first three years I was in college. (I had little faith in their ability to feed my hungry stomach! They looked so flimsy!) The Downfall of the Bagel in my life, began when I stopped finishing the bagels. I’d leave half of them uneaten – tired of chewing it, and tired of its uncomfortable and annoying chewy-ness. I would lose interest in the bagel, and my appetite, even before I was done eating.

Maybe I just never toasted them long enough? Maybe I just wasn’t getting good quality bagels? Does anyone else think this much about their choice of breakfast bread??

The English muffins, on the other hand, come out of the toaster so crisp and eager to be eaten. They were versatile and easy to devour. Also, because I love to pile the cream cheese or jam or jelly, it was easier to eat the muffins without the concern of the bagel hole. Why do bagels have holes anyway? Everything just sees out! (Willingly going off on a tangent: some of my friends came up with a joke of an idea, to start a new project under my NGO – potentially a venture called Holes for the Homeless. We’d donate all the bagel holes to the needy instead of throwing them out from the bakeries. The bagels probably don’t even have centers to begin with. Or maybe we were going to donate donut holes.. I hadn’t even heard of donut holes till this year!)

As breakfast, or as snack, or as second breakfast, I would often prepare more than one English muffin. Each of a different variety.  Butter and cinnamon sugar. Cream cheese and blueberry jam. Butter and apricot preserve. Peanut butter and cinnamon sugar. Just butter even. Or you could put an egg in it, with cheese melting gently. I’d put it on a take-away paper boat from the dining hall or wrap it in foil to preserve the warmth. Nom nom nom.  I was like a squirrel, my friends would tell me, packing food in my bag all the time. There’d always be something edible and snackable in my bag. Sometimes a couple cookies. Often a stack of cookies or a dessert variety.

Now to counter all my thoughts on food, let’s talk a bit about exercise. I’ve recently been feeling a little sluggish. I blame it on the lack of intense physical activity in my life. Yes, it’s time to move! I complained to my mom the other day saying, I used to run and dance four hours a day. Now here I am, just sitting on my ever expanding bottom. (Please read the word bottom with a British accent.) (Also, I exaggerated a bit about the running, I didn’t run every day. I ran a little. But I did have dance rehearsal at least four hours a day, four days a week. At least.)

That day I told myself, enough is enough! I can’t let another week go by without going out and taking a dance class. That was to be the big item on my checklist for the week.

So I stopped hesitating. I found a random hip hop studio by poking around online and I went to my first dance class in months. My body has been screaming at me for it all day, but who cares, my body is moving again! And not just walking or zumba-ing. Actually moving and creating story. I’ve also started back up with small doses of running– thanks to a recent purchase of much-needed running shoes. I am well prepared to bully out the slug monster in my life!

Now, after a little bit of internet perusing, I’ve found many articles about the bagel versus English muffin fiasco (as well as about pancakes vs french toast vs waffles, sausage vs bacon vs ham, muffins vs scones vs croissants…you get the idea.) Apparently I’m not the only one thinking about this stuff, and even four years ago people were already wondering where the bagel holes were if donut holes were so available. Har har har!

Turns out a lot of the discussion around these things revolves around the health factor, and not so much the scrumdidlydumptious factor, of these breakfasty breads. Yaaaawn!

And if you care to look, the Urban Dicitonary has an unfortunate definition of bagel holes. And bagels holes are not on the market because bagels are made differently from donuts – bagels are made by twisting dough or tearing a hole up before they are boiled. Apparently donuts are cut.

Bagel Hole also happens to be a famous bagel place in Brooklyn. Try it sometime? 

And tomorrow we shall see if the English muffins sitting in our fridge live up to the expectations I have so highly set for them!

No Longer Between

I guess it’s official then. Without my knowledge, the publishing of my first post in my new home of bloggery (yes, I think I just made that up), the seed of my new blog-dom, if you will, seems to have marked the official end of my summer.

Since I’ve arrived, I think I’ve stealthily tried to hold off getting completely acclimated to my re-relocation to home – Metro Manila, Philippines. I’ve taken  my sweet time getting over my jetlag, and have still to finish the purging of my stuff/junk in my bedroom or put new things up on the walls. And despite my previous yearning (after months of traveling and downsizing my collection of belongings) to unpack my suitcases once and for all, there are still little pockets of my luggage barely out of their bags, still rolled up to save space. And though I continue to allow many fibers of my being to deny the reality that for the first time in six years, I have no idea when I will be leaving or moving next, I am excited to stay put for a little bit. It’s a beautiful but also fearful thing to be returning to my roots and digging deep down into this Filipino soil for community.

My summer was a little over twelve weeks long. It began when I moved out of Wheaton and culminates now in daily rain showers in the South East Asian monsoon season. In between all of that I stomped lightly around the East Coast of the United States. During the summer weeks, many friends and new acquaintances inquired about what I was doing with all the time I had. I was certainly unemployed, but never bored out of my mind. I took the necessary time and effort one needed to simply be. I never allowed myself to long to be any other place than where I was at that moment. It was wonderful.

I was traveling. I was making new friends, and learning so many lovely things about old ones. I was beginning to fall in love with cooking. I was going for morning jogs and doing evening yoga in the living room (or the backyard of any home I was visiting). But I think mostly I was day dreaming and catching up with myself. I was writing. I wrote many deserved thank you letters to friends and mentors, cards and postcards for people I treasure. And I happily mailed them off!

My friend Bri captured the first time I ever dropped mail off at a US mail box back in June- all these years I would always go to the post office. I was thrilled!

In my flitting about this summer, it seemed that at every turn I was showered with good favor. Not to say that I was favored by people, but that I was gifted with good company and genuine, quality time with friends, nature, my thoughts, and God. I hope that in the next few months I might be able to share more about some of those moments, because collectively, they made the end to my college story a ridiculously sweet one, and completely worth all the trouble.

Speaking of endings, the first thing I saw on my Facebook news feed this morning was this photo posted by the Arts at Wheaton page:

I was barely awake so early in the morning, but seeing the photo made me a little sad. The caption reads, “This morning, we quietly bid farewell to our beloved Twisted Sisters. The Patrick Dougherty sculpture sustained some serious damage this summer and upon close inspection we reluctantly decided to remove it for safety reasons. The piece has been a permanent fixture and focal point on campus since 2008 and we will certainly miss it.

Again, warm thanks to everyone who participated in the construction, enjoyment, documentation and maintenance of the Sisters over the last four years.”

Patrick Dougherty had told us that his sculptures usually have at least 2 to 3 good years and are probably kept up for no more than five. The photo was another reminder that I am in a season of new beginnings and new stories. Unfortunately in the process, many things must also be put to rest.

My first year seminar at Wheaton was one of the lucky groups of students to be able to work on the building of the sculpture four years ago. We were tentative freshmen, taking an art class on drawing and 2-d design, and each of us were required to work a number of hours on the project.  I worked one of the first shifts and spent my time sorting the long saplings and being one of four people collectively driving a large drill into the ground for the foundation.

I have virtually no memory of Wheaton before the life of this sculpture. It has joined my class in our coming and again in our departure. However, it is without doubt I know that many things I’ve learned,  bonds I have formed and dreams I have sowed, have a life span of more than just two to three years good years and will endure way beyond just five.

And so it is the end of the summer. My mind is whirring with ideas and I am working on multiple projects, each so distinct from the next one. For once I am no longer between staying and going, arriving and leaving. I am simply, for now, staying.

Between going and staying the day wavers,
in love with its own transparency.
The circular afternoon is now a bay
where the world in stillness rocks.
All is visible and all elusive,
all is near and can’t be touched.Paper, book, pencil, glass,
rest in the shade of their names.

Time throbbing in my temples repeats
the same unchanging syllable of blood.

The light turns the indifferent wall
into a ghostly theater of reflections.

I find myself in the middle of an eye,
watching myself in its blank stare.

The moment scatters. Motionless,
I stay and go: I am a pause.

Between going and staying the day wavers, by Octavio Paz